Moms across the globe have long joked that having a husband often feels like having an extra kid. Now, thanks to a survey by Today, the jokes have a data-backed punchline: husbands stress out moms twice as much as their kids. Yes, you read that right. Move over, temper tantrums and sticky fingerprints—Dad might just be the real chaos coordinator.

The survey, which polled 7,000 U.S. moms, found that the average mom rates her stress level at an eyebrow-raising 8.5 out of 10. But here’s the kicker — nearly half of these moms said their husbands cause more stress than their little ones. Why? Let’s just say that 35-year-old humans are expected to know better.

Take it from mom Deno Fleno, who summed it up hilariously: “A 7-year-old is going to be a 7-year-old. But a 35-year-old acting like a 7-year-old? That’s next-level stress.”

Dishes, Laundry, and… Diplomacy?

It turns out that much of the stress comes from moms feeling like they’re doing it all. A whopping 75% admitted they tackle household and parenting duties solo, convinced the chores won’t get done otherwise. Meanwhile, 20% of moms said their husbands simply don’t lift a finger around the house. It’s no wonder the phrase “Can you not?” has become a universal mom mantra.

But before we throw all the men under the metaphorical (and perhaps unwashed) bus, there’s good news. Men are stepping up more than ever, with studies showing that household equality is on the rise. According to the Council on Contemporary Families, male support for gender equality has hit an all-time high, and men are increasingly pitching in — yes, even with laundry.

Sharing Chores, Saving Marriages

Research also reveals a juicy side benefit to men helping out: better relationships and even improved sex lives. Turns out, scrubbing a casserole dish might just be the secret to romance. Daniel Carlson, a sociologist from the University of Utah, says couples are happier when men share household tasks, especially the dreaded dishwashing.

Stephanie Coontz, a family researcher, put it best: “The next time they read a magazine article claiming that the way to put their wife in a romantic mood is to run her a bath, they might want to throw that magazine in the trash and run themselves a sink full of dirty dishes.”

The Bottom Line

Sure, moms will always laugh about husbands being “big kids,” but it’s clear the tides are turning. Men are rolling up their sleeves (finally) and sharing the load, proving that a clean kitchen really is the way to a mom’s heart — and maybe even her sanity.

Sources: Stevens Point Journal | Cafe Mom