Raising a child with a disability can be an amazing and rewarding experience. It can also bring along some challenging moments that you have to navigate.
For one Missouri mom, the biggest challenge for her was finding friends for her 24-year-old son who has Down Syndrome. She struggled to find a way to help her outgoing son who desperately wanted friends.
And then, just like that, she had a thought – maybe she could hire friends. But what started as an attempt to help her child soon became something more: a lesson in the kindness of strangers.
Donna Herter knew her son, Christian Bowers, wanted so badly to have friends. While he had been in school, it had been easier. But now as an adult, that was much harder for the young man to find.
“On the weekends, Christian watched his older sisters have sleepovers and attend parties while he sat on his own,” Herter told Today show reporters.
He would often ask, ‘When are my friends coming over?’”
That’s when Herter got an idea. “I wondered, what if I pay a local man who is looking for extra money to hang out with Christian twice a month?” she recalled. “I thought it would help both of them out.”
So she went to Facebook for help. Offering $80 for a two-hour shift, she said, “I’m looking for a young man, between the ages of 20-28, who would like to make some extra money. Two days a month for two hours, I’ll pay you to be my son’s friend. All you have to do is sit with him and play video games in his room. Nothing else.”
She made sure to let people know that she or her husband, Allen, would be there the entire time, but that her son couldn’t know about the payment.
Christian Bowers celebrates after receiving gifts from his new friends. Photo by Donna Herter
When she woke up the next morning, her post had been shared more than 6,000 times, as far as Japan and even Nigeria. Since then, her post has been shared more than 60,000 times.
Despite her worries, Herter told reporters that she had more positive reactions than negative. She said that other parents with disabled children had reached out, offering understanding and sympathy, showing the family that they weren’t alone.
But the most important thing – Bowers has made friends. Soon after the post went viral, he was visited by members of the St. Louis nonprofit, STL Youth Sports Outreach.
Founder Billy Mayhall said he and his friend spread the message about Bowers, and found so many people willing to help out. Some people donated money, and a local Hyundai dealership joined in, giving Bowers a 65-inch flat-screen TV, St. Louis Blues tickets, and snacks for gaming sessions.
Christian Bowers watches the new TV he was gifted by a local organization. Photo by Donna Herter
Herter said that Bowers was thrilled saying, “It’s big! It’s like heaven.” She added that she never expected such a reaction and was overwhelmed by the kindness of strangers.
Mayhall emphasized that children with special needs deserve friendship just as much as anyone else. “People now are starting to see a lot of these kids with special needs need somebody in life,” he explained to KMOV, “just like we do, no different.”
Four new friends have since visited Bowers. All replied to her “help wanted” post, she said, but refused to take any money. Bowers is now fully booked with friend outings all the way through the summer.
“The love being shown to our son is amazing,” Herter said. “Christian says having friends over feels like heaven. He goes to bed with a smile on his face.”
